Being a Single Mom can be lonely at times and make you yearn for a partner. To make matters worse dating as a Single Mom can feel like an uphill batter against an endless shortage of time, money and energy. My son is still young, and I can barely fathom dating.
And, yet, I see a silver lining that is necessitated by an incredible lack of time. Being a Single Mom has made me rock solid in my commitment to be healthy and grounded, both of which will serve me incredibly well when I’m ready to date.
Before becoming a Single Mom, I felt general haze of loneliness cast over my life. I worried about whether anyone would want to date me if I had a child in tow. I was worried about prioritizing a baby over a partner because I yearned for both equally.
Now that I have a little one, I never feel lonely. Even when I’m alone working frantically on my book and business or playing alone with my son, I never feel any loneliness.
My heart feels filled to the brim. I don’t feel like I am lacking anything. And, that is an amazing place from which to date because it keeps me aligned with a sense of purpose and rightness rather than seeking to fill a lack.
I know who I am and what’s important to me. It’s easier to have clarity about my goals and what’s good for me … and my son.
Because time and money are precious, I cut to the chase quickly in all areas of my life. My gut is in charge, forcing me to make what might sometimes feel like brutal decisions regarding who is worth my time. I no longer have time for a man that doesn’t make me feel amazing or bring out my best and that’s a big plus in dating.
I imagine sitting across the table from my date. My intuition kicked into high gear and picking up on subtle details of my date that I may not even consciously register. He’s either “in” or “out.” This could cause me to miss out on some diamonds in the rough, but I trust that this skill combined with laser sharp focus on what’s good for me and my son will yield positive results.
And, let’s not forget that as Single Moms, we are forced to take it slowly since it’s not easy to have ‘adult sleepovers’ or stay out all night for hot and heavy make-out sessions when you have a toddler or child at home. But this allows true emotional intimacy to grow with a man before throwing myself into sexual intimacy. It makes me feel a bit old-fashioned perhaps, but I think it’s a much more powerful way to begin a relationship.
Finally, I think about how empowered being Single Mom makes me feel. I struggle and want to tear my hair out, collapse from exhaustion in a great heap on the couch. But, underneath it all, I am amazed at my tenacity, resourcefulness, and strength. On those days when I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I rebound quickly and again feel empowered and blessed, knowing that I am doing the best I can and that my best is pretty darn amazing.
So, I invite you to focus on the ways you’ve honed your ability to find an amazing partner. You may feel far from dating when your child is young, but when you decide you are ready, I’m confident, you will be smarter and wiser.