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Motherhood Reimagined: When Becoming A Mother Doesn't Go As Planned

At the age of thirty-nine, Sarah Kowalski heard her biological clock ticking, loudly. A single woman harboring a deep ambivalence about motherhood, Kowalski needed to decide: Did she want a baby? More importantly, with no partner in sight, did she want to have a baby alone? Once she revised her idea of motherhood—from an experience she would share with a partner to a journey she would embark upon alone—the answer came up a resounding Yes. Kowalski chose to conceive using a sperm donor, but her plan stopped short when a doctor declared her infertile. How far would she go to become a mother? Kowalski catapulted herself into a diligent regimen of herbs, Qigong, meditation, acupuncture and more, in a quest to improve her fertility Along the way, she delved into spiritual healing practices, facing down demons of self-doubt and self-hatred, and once again revising her vision of motherhood. In the end, to become a mother, Kowalski did everything she said she would never do. And yet, she wouldn't change a thing.

A story of personal triumph and unconditional love, Motherhood Reimagined reveals what happens when we release what's expected and embrace what's possible.

Sarah’s honest and informative memoir examines the issues facing both single moms by choice and any woman facing fertility issues and third party reproduction. She offers a personal narrative that speaks for a generation of women who, like the author, thought she had time to have a baby well into her forties and a growing number of women who will not let the lack of a partner stand in the way of having a child. Sarah takes us on her journey in which she examines her choices and surrenders to a completely different vision of motherhood than she had ever imagined, showing us how love prevails.

Her book answers many questions such as: Why would someone decide to have a baby alone? How does one come to terms with not having a genetic link to her child? How can infertility be a means for personal growth and spiritual awakening?

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What People Are Saying

Toni Weschler, MPH, Author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility

Toni Weschler   "Sarah has provided a gift to all women considering becoming a single mother with a beautifully written book that is both achingly painful and humorously honest. In her description of all that she had to go through to ultimately achieve her dream of having a child, her book reads like a novel that you can’t put down. In the end, you realize that the peaks and valleys that she went through were in many ways a metaphor for life, one that she had no idea at the time would prepare her for her new role as a loving and patient mother."

Roy M Carlisle, Senior Editorial Consultant, The Crossroad Publishing Company

rare memoir Roy carlisle "In Motherhood Reimagined Sarah Kowalski has accomplished what most memoir writers can never do. She has written two memoirs seamlessly woven together. One is an amazingly informative story about infertility and what one woman did to get pregnant. You will laugh and cry at Sarah's ability to capture the ups and downs of this saga. But she has also written a narrative about her spiritual struggles that is as interesting as her journey toward motherhood.  This is one of those rare books that is not only replete with important information but it might even slip you onto your own path toward enlightenment.”

Mei Mei Fox, New York Times Best Selling Author and Contributor at Forbes

Mei Mei Fox "In the end, life dashed every expectation I had about how I would become a mother." And yet Sarah Kowalski did become a mother - just not in the way she had imagined. In this powerful, timely, and important memoir, Kowalski reveals how difficult it is to become a mother in your 40s, and yet also how the journey has served as a beautiful and transformational process for her. Best of all, she helps anyone interested in becoming a parent who might be struggling with infertility, confused about reproductive options and technology, psychologically and emotionally distressed, and / or lost in the vast jungle of online information about IVF, adoption, sperm/ egg donation, and so on to navigate their way to motherhood. This book is so necessary. It fills a gap in the literature on modern parenthood by offering wisdom, insight, and practical advice that will help you realize your dreams -- one way or another.

Marika Lindholm CEO and founder of ESME.com (Empowering Solo Moms Everywhere)

marika Linkholm Esme.com "In Motherhood Reimagined, Sarah Kowalski chronicles her heartbreaking, yet ultimately inspiring journey from work-obsessed attorney to want-to-be solo mom. This compelling story of yearning rises above the rest as Kowalski grippingly recounts the fear, regret, and anger that accompanied her race against infertility. The book is a must-read for any women who hears the ticking of her biological clock.  The number of women choosing to parent alone is increasing by the day. In her gripping memoir, Motherhood Reimagined, Sarah Kowalski reveals the disappointment and taxing medical interventions that can surround this decision. Every woman considering becoming a solo mom by choice should read this powerful book."
Madison Young, Author of Daddy: A Memoir and The Ultimate Guide to Sex Through Pregnancy and Motherhood Madison Young "Get ready for an emotional and psychological journey. Motherhood Reimagined is a fascinating and intimate look inside the world of becoming a modern day mother. An honest look at the emotional labor & physical challenges that arise on one woman's path to motherhood.  Kowalski is relentless in her pursuit of becoming a mother and grants us passage through her very own thick jungle of neuroses and tangles of self doubt while she bravely sharpens a machete of insight and truth to carve out her own path. A heroic and emotional journey that pulls you in and won't let you go until both the author and reader have found complete surrender."

Jane Mattes, psychotherapist and Founder Single Mothers by Choice (SMC). Author, Single Mothers by Choice.ups and downs of emotional journey

“This very readable story of the author’s journey to single motherhood by choice is a must-read for anyone contemplating becoming an SMC. It feels like a good friend is letting you join her on the trip as she shares her ups and downs, disappointments and celebrations. Informative, emotionally moving, and hard to put down.”

James Flaherty, MCC, Founder of New Ventures West, and author of Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others

James Flaherty "Brave pioneers come in all sizes, shapes, ages and genders. Make no mistake, Sarah Kowalski is one of them. In her courageous memoir she opens up new territory illuminating fresh possibilities for what it is to be an authentic dignified human being in the midst of  probably the most profound life-changing event, becoming a mother, (in her case  while being a single woman). She warmly, confidently and firmly draws the reader into the felt experience of all she faced, physically relationally, psychologically, financially and so on. Funny, inspiring, thought-provoking all at once. Sarah holds nothing back and opens up the chance for us to do the same in whatever we are facing in our own lives. A book for anyone living in our time and place."

Mikki Morrissette, founder ChoiceMoms.org, author Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide

"In the years that I've been communicating with Choice Moms, there are two things that stand out as true: 1) We don't realize how difficult it might be to conceive, which is exhausting to discover in our late 30s and 40s; 2) We underestimate our ability as strong-minded women to "get it done," whatever it takes. Sarah is admirably able in this memoir to openly capture both the vulnerability and the strength of her story of becoming a mother — a journey that never goes according to plan, and that teaches us more about ourselves than we can ever detail on our To Do lists."  

Cheryl Dumesnil, Love Song for Baby X: How I Stayed (Almost) Sane on the Rocky Road to Parenthood.

“From the moment we meet Sarah Kowalski, a successful corporate attorney ignoring her biological clock, through her pas sionate quest to overcome infertility, to her early days of solo motherhood, one thing is for sure: nothing will go as planned. But Kowalski proceeds with determination, dissolving every physical and emotional barrier that dares stand in her way. This book is a must-read for anyone charting an unconventional path toward parenthood.”

~Elena Brower, Author, Art of Attention and Practice You

  • "Motherhood Reimagined is a courageous journey through familiar life lessons. Using her embodied spiritual practice, author Sarah Kowalski faces her demons with vulnerability, humility, humor and insight."

About The Author

Sarah Kowalski is a single mother by choice via sperm donation and egg donation

Sarah Kowalski

Sarah Kowalski, Esq., is a fertility doula, family building coach, postpartum doula, and author, as well as the founder of Motherhood Reimagined. She is a resource guide and contributor at ESME.com, YourTango.com, and ChoiceMoms.org. As a single mother by choice who conceived her son via sperm and egg donors, she is a go-to guide for women who are contemplating single motherhood, having fertility issues, raising donor-conceived children, or navigating life as single mothers. Kowalski has a BA from UC Berkeley, and she graduated magna cum laude from Santa Clara University Law School in 1998. She left the practice of law to pursue her interests in alternative healing and the mind/body connection by becoming a Guild-Certified Feldenkrais Practitioner, Qigong instructor, and Certified Integral Coach.

Press

press for sarah kowalski fertility memoir

Sarah Kowalski

For Book Publicity

Crystal Patriarche, BookSparks,

480-650-1688

crystal@BookSparksPR.com

Demystify Sperm Banks

This guide has it all--an overview of policies such as Open ID policies, pricing, genetic testing, what information is available for each donor and more.  Plus, a quick reference guide, and worksheets to help you get clarity. Save yourself hours of time and heartache and get the guide now.  
Click here to subscribe

Have Bold Conversations About Different Families

Families of all shapes and sizes are becoming more and more common. But people don't always know how to have conversations about having two moms or no dad.  This guide has tips for how to have the conversation as well as an extensive list of children's books. This guide is perfect for any parent who wants to talk to their children about the differences around them. Raise compassionate, accepting kids from the outset.
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Memoir Sample

In these two poignant chapters you will travel with me to the moments when I decided to take the leap to becoming a single mother via sperm donation and the moment I opened to the possibility of egg donation.
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When Self-Care Isn't Realistic

For many single moms (and moms in general) it's unrealistic to get to the gym or fit in a run.  But that doesn't mean you can't practice to bring yourself present and refreshed moment by moment.  Here are 10 super simple mini-breaks you can do virtually anywhere. Download your guide and feel refreshed in an instant.
Click here to subscribe

Are you ready to reimagine motherhood?

Take control of your life.  Become the mother you want to be.

Scattered Seeds: In Search of Family and Identity in the Sperm Donor Generation

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | September 28, 2017

Your heart might stop a few times–then be warmed by the sweet connections.  One things for sure, you will be fascinated and better educated after reading Scattered Seeds: In Search of Family and Identity in the Sperm Donor Generation. Author, Jacqueline Mroz has done a wonderful job highlighting the issues with the lack of regulation…

Do I Wish I Had Frozen My Eggs?

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | July 31, 2017

I feel at the same time, very cynical about companies paying their employees money to freeze their eggs so they can put off starting a family and thrilled that this technology is available to provide more opportunities for women. I was one of those women who after putting my career first, just couldn’t seem to…

Press Release: Motherhood Reimagined Memoir

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | June 14, 2017

A story of personal triumph, unconditional love and the lengths one will go to experience motherhood At the age of thirty-nine, Sarah Kowalski began to realize time was running out of time to have a baby. After grappling with what it meant to have a baby alone, she eventually realized that she’d always wanted a…

Break the Decision-Making Spiral

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | May 22, 2017

Decision-making is stressful—from the small, seemingly insignificant decisions to the big ones, such as do I want to have a baby alone, or am I ready to use an egg donor or adopt? As a Single Mom, when your child comes along, you are forced to make all parenting decisions alone, such as who to…

My Infertility Story — How I Got The Baby I Was Meant To Have

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | April 23, 2017

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week. Here’s my infertility story and how I became a mother via egg donation.  #NIAW #ListenUp Throughout my life I was led to believe it was no big deal to conceive a baby in my forties. Back then, when people asked me (as they so often do ask women in their…

Single, 42 and Infertile But I Still Gave Birth To My Baby

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | March 4, 2017

As a child, I was obsessed with babies. If anyone asked me if I wanted kids when I grew up, I would exuberantly respond that I wanted eleven babies (I know, right? Eleven??). I distinctly remember stalking a pregnant mother in my neighborhood, asking if I could care for her child once it was born.…

How Being A Single Mom Makes You Better At Dating

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | February 10, 2017

Being a Single Mom can be lonely at times and make you yearn for a partner. To make matters worse dating as a Single Mom can feel like an uphill batter against an endless shortage of time, money and energy. My son is still young, and I can barely fathom dating. And, yet, I see…

Teaching Love Through Imitation

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | January 16, 2017

When I proactively chose to become a Solo Mom, I knew parenting would become my spiritual practice. We know that children learn more from imitation than from what we actually tell them.

My 2017 Promises to YOU!

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | January 1, 2017

This year, my hope is that you will learn everything I know about becoming a single mom by choice, fertility issues, and using a sperm donor and egg donor to conceive. But even more, I hope it inspires you to take whatever path to motherhood (or not) that feels right. As you may know, my…

Infertility Made Me Stronger

By sarahkowalski@gmail.com | November 21, 2016

Infertility made me stronger–it’s true.  When I first learned I was infertile I would have never guessed that it would fundamentally change me for the better. After several years of hemming and hawing, I had only just come to terms with having a baby solo.  I didn’t have a partner yet, so it was time…

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